My Heroine’s Journey

 

My deepest thanks to you for looking into my Web Page.  Because the work that I do is transformational, I thought I would share my story with you, in hopes that you can see the power of this process of creating through the Divine Feminine. For 65 years, I have kept my story secret.  As I began the Feminine Power classes of Evolving Wisdom in 2016, I slowly activated the process of healing – something that years of therapy in multiple modalities failed to provide to me. Healing through the Divine Feminine is a transformation so powerful and so unique because it taps into what already is inside of us – our innate power as a being created by God/Spirit/the Universe, a power that helps us to become who we were meant to be in this Lifetime.  This power may be suppressed, at times, but it can never, ever be taken from us.  That was the lesson I needed to learn in order to begin my heroine’s journey.  This is my story:

 

I belong to a sisterhood of sorts – the sisterhood of women who have been sexually abused.  In the past, this sisterhood found itself cloaked in quiet, locked in the prison of silence.  This silence was born from many reasons – we were threatened by the perpetrator, we wanted to protect our mothers from hurt, we wanted to keep the family together so that our brothers and sisters would not experience divorce. We thought that nobody would really believe us; we were so filled with shame that it was easier to bear the darkness than to bring this into the light.  There are many, many more reasons and each violated sister possesses her own.

 

And yet we survived.

 

We thought of ourselves as damaged goods, constantly searching for love deep and true and when we found it, we always tested it mightily to make sure that it was real and it would last – because who really could love such as us, the dirty, the tainted, the unclean?  And, more often than not, our Prince Charmings went on to find other Sleeping Beauties, tired of having to constantly battle to prove their love to awaken the Beauty who knew not her own worth.

 

And yet we survived.

 

We looked in the mirror and saw not the bright eyes and smiling face that stared back at us.  What we saw were eyes crying with shame and lips that could not speak of the agony in our souls.  And we knew we had to be ugly for we reasoned that beauty could not be found in something that was so used and so damaged.

 

And yet we survived.

 

We thought that there was something about us – something bad, something evil, because who could possibly be drawn to do something like this - it is unnatural.  The abuser, often leading a ‘normal life’ outside of his contact with us, went to church, had a good job, was a respected member of the family.  Who would ever think such things of him or her? We knew, but we thought it must have something to do with us.  What was wrong with us to elicit such behavior from such a ‘good and decent person’?

 

And yet we survived.

 

Then one moment, one thought, one day, we realized that we are not at fault.  It could have been a song we heard, a class we took, a prayer we prayed.  It could have been one thing or many things, but in that moment, thought, day, we realized that we are not culpable.  The blame does not belong to us and we knew that, at last, we could escape the bonds of sexual abuse that were holding us down.   We also knew that there is a strength deep inside each of us that no one could or can destroy.  We are a sisterhood of survivors and we come from quiet courage that nonetheless shines brightly forth for we are sisters who proudly stand together, connected hand to hand, heart to heart.

 

Not only have we survived but we are ‘STILL STANDING’.

 

There is still healing ahead for us, for our wounds are deep and our suffering deeper but we, who are here right now in this moment, will not let our experience of sexual abuse hold us down.  We are not destined to suffer this in vain.  We will reclaim the power that has always been ours and finally release the hold of the abuse.

 

This is my story; this is my journey.  May God/Goddess/Spirit/Universe bless you on your journey of healing, whatever that may be.  Please know that I stand beside you every step of the way, connected heart to heart.